Chocolate, anyone? I guarantee when you read Joanne Harris’ Chocolat, you will need some! No book has ever made me more famished and craving confections EVER! This tug of war story between Church and chocolate comes to bare in a sleepy little French community that holds a few less appetizing secrets of its own. But how can magical visitors, an ornery old matriarch and a sexy redheaded gypsy unlock the community’s unappetizing skeletons and overcome evil disguised as virtue? By way of indulgence, that’s how!

Flashy and unmarried Vianne Rocher and her 6 year old daughter, Anouk, meander into the petite community of Lansquenet-sous-Tannes as it prepares for Lent. Within a few days, Vianne opens a copious chocolate shoppe on the town square that the local church also borders. Countless handmade delicacies temp the town’s folk into disregarding their Lenten vows which draws the enraged attention of the austere parish priest, Francis Reynaud. Being the daughter of a “witch”, Vianne distrusts the rigid policy of organized religion and lives by a pagan belief in the wind that drives her along her life’s path. She holds a little magic of her own that she is careful not to abuse. However, in true Vixen form and to fuel the fire a smidge, Vianne announces a chocolate festival to follow Easter Sunday service and a sweet holy war breaks out!

Harris’ secondary characters were as scrumptious as the delicacies Vianne creates. Her uncanny ability to guess her clients favorite confections brings curious minds into her shoppe. Once there, Vianne becomes a savior to these suppressed souls. The abused kleptomaniac, Josephine, finds sanctuary and safety in Vianne’s friendship. The grumpy but wise senior, Armande, uses Vianne’s advice and trickery to help her develop a relationship with her only grandchild, Luke. As an elder of the town, Armande is privy to many of Lansquenets secrets and one in particular has Father Reynaud salivating in panic. And there’s Anouk! Vianne’s 6 year old daughter is a sweet little imp who has so much to teach about love and life; even to her mother.

Well, you can’t have sweet without a little sexy, right? My favorite must be “Roux Chocolate!” Roux is the mouthwatering leader of the river gypsies that stop at Lansquenet to sell their handmade goods. They are given a threatening welcome at the indirect hand of Reynaud; but Roux manages to spread some much need sugar Vianne’s way!

I’m giving this book 4 outta 5 pumps, taking one away for the sometimes drawn out discussions between Father Reynaud and a mute mentor he calls “pere” whose significance isn’t evident until the very end….which is why I didn’t mention him. Harris’ little morsel, Chocolat, was a bittersweet story of good vs. evil, new vs. old, change vs. stagnation. If you’re in need of something sweet but don’t want to burden your Vixeny waistline, savor this bon bon of a book and your taste buds won’t be the only thing that ends up satisfied!

Wanda Schwartz is human. Quite terribly so. So mortal and ordinary that in any other novel her character may have been the one that readers would likely forget. However, in Dakota Cassidy’s laugh-out-loud paranormal romance,The Accidental Human, Wanda adds an interesting dynamic to a very unique circle of Vixen-like friends.

For starters, Wanda is a successful consultant for Bobbie-Sue cosmetics. She lives and breathes color wheels and is making the world a better place by pinpointing her clients’ exact color auras. She has the kind of girlfriends that every woman dreams of; Nina and Marty, who are always there for her even despite their vast differences. Wanda is trying to get her life on track after her divorce from her D-bag of a husband; however, a recent doctors visit reveals that our fair Wanda is diagnosed with a terminal illness. Like any good human, she isn’t welcoming of the news at first, but quickly discovers that she is given the chance to right some wrongs and live the rest of her days the way SHE wants to – courtesy of her spectacular F*ck-It List! Yet, it is not in her plan to tell anyone about her deteriorating condition.

Heath Jefferson wasn’t exactly part of the plan either! Ahh, dreamy-hunk-o’-white-meat-stick-a-fork-in-him-and-take-a-bite, scrumptious Heath. Yes, that same Heath walks right into Wanda’s life when he answers a classified ad for a job with Bobbie Sue. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “A man selling cosmetics?! Uh, no!” or “He MUST be gay!” Well, just you wait. Heath and Wanda’s chemistry is undeniable; and the hilarity that ensues is quite entertaining. I loved their strange but steamy relationship and how it worked quite nicely with the irony that is Wanda’s world.

It is worth mentioning that Wanda’s best friends are of the paranormal kind. Nina is a hot-headed mouthy vampire and Marty is the semi-sweet and emotional werewolf; and they are both on a journey to live forever with their life-mates. Still, they desperately need their reliable friend Wanda to referee their fights, make lists, and plan group shopping trips. She is the human glue keeping everything paranormal tied together with a pretty pink bow. And back to our man, Heath? Well, he isn’t exactly what he claims to be as Wanda discovers all too soon.

The Accidental Human is the third out of four novels in Cassidy’s series. I picked it up on a whim and can honestly say I don’t feel as though I missed much by not reading the first two books. It is chalk full of Vixen-esque vocabulary that will surely bring out your inner hussy. Cassidy’s humor and saucy language are appropriate, the world she creates for Wanda is very real, the characters are charming, and the sex scenes do not disappoint. Overall, Cassidy earns 4 out of 5 pumps from me. I’m only taking one away for the ending that seemed rather silly and far-fetched in comparison to the tone of the rest of the book.

Fashion, flirting and fornicating! The three staple things a girl of today’s modern world embodies, right? But does that translate to the women of the 1920’s? You bet-cher Betty Boop it does! At least it does in Sophie Kinsella’s book, Twenties Girl. Sadie is a partying, fashion forward flapper who makes the most out of life but she has a few problems. She’s lost her necklace and, oh yeah, she’s sorta dead!

Sadie was born in the early 1900s and died a drooly old lady in a nursing home when she was a ripe old 105. However, her ghost is in her younger 23-year-old form and she’s haunting her 27-year-old great niece, Lara Leighton who turns out to be a serious mess. She’s just been dumped by the love of her life AND her business partner. She’s broke and going crazy because she thinks her Great Aunt Sadie’s ghost is haunting her. She can hear and see her plain as day going around screaming at strangers to get them to do her bidding… and its working! Of course, Lara is the only person who can see and communicate with Sadie so she badgers Lara into recovering her beautiful dragonfly necklace. Sadie is not all together sure why, but she knows that she cannot rest until its back in her possession. But where could it be? Or should we say “Who lifted it?”

We meet various lively and expertly developed cast members along the way to solving this mystery. A greedy, rich snake of an uncle, a ditzy self-centered flake of a cousin and boring yet bothersome parents are all suspects! Enter the classic preppy business man with penetrating eyes that has caught Sadie’s attention! Hello Daddy-O!! And she wants him. But the only way she can get him is through Lara. “Anyway you can get it” is what I always say! OWW! A reluctant albeit comical romance develops between Lara and this frowny American. Much to Sadie’s shagrin.

Eventually, Sadie and Lara start to unknowingly learn from one another and the impressions that they leave on the other are life (and death from Sadie’s point of view) altering. Lara uncovered the fact that Sadie’s life meant so much more to so many more lives than she could ever imagine. And Sadie helped Lara figure out the difference between going through the motions of a relationship and really living and loving another person by letting go of her inhibitions.

This was a fun and light story that I absolutely loved! The ending was a bit heavier but delivered a sweet and tender message of family and keeping yours close. I’m giving this book 4.5 outta 5 pumps. Minus .5 for the lack of steamy sex! Sheesh, can I catch a break with the no-sex books already??? But I took away a valuable lesson from Twenties Girl. I want to be just like Sadie when I am 105 years old…. minus the drooling of course!

I think someone copied off of Stephenie Meyer’s paper! Deadly Little Secret by Laurie Stolarz should’ve been called Twilight: The Lame Edition. Wanna know why? The storyline is almost exactly the same as Meyer’s Twilight except Stolarz created the most boring and ludicrous characters to star in her book. Come along with me as we journey to Déjà vu town…

To begin, the main character, 16-year old Camelia almost gets hit by a car. And where does she almost get hit by a car? In the parking lot at her school! Some random hottie on a motorcycle comes to Camelia’s rescue by pushing her out of the way. So, after “Evel Knievel” saves Camelia from getting hit by yet another horrible teen driver, he speeds away on his bike without even telling her his name. All she remembers is a scar on his arm that is cool to the touch. Ooh… yawn.

So, who was the mysterious hero? He’s the new boy in town named Ben and he’s supposedly gorgeous. I could see that if you like uninteresting characters with freakish scars. He also has a secretive past that everyone at the school questions. The students hear rumors that suggest he killed his girlfriend and had to move to get away from all the drama surrounding her death. Even so, when Camelia recognizes him at school, she is eager to thank him for saving her life. But he claims that he wasn’t her hero. Really?? That’s unusual. Maybe he fell off his motorcycle and hit his head the day before and forgot! Oh, but it gets better…. Ben and Camelia are lab partners in CHEMISTRY! Ha-Ha! Are you reading this Stephenie?? Surely there are other classes in high school where students pair up and work together, right?!

Anyway, as time goes on, Camelia learns that she has a secret admirer of sorts. This character plays an active role in the book because there are chapters specifically devoted to his side of the story. This is a unique aspect for Stolarz’s book – and it at least breaks up the dull interactions between Camelia and her annoying friends, Kimmie and Wes. So, not only does Camelia have a very strange and seemingly dangerous boy toy to contend with, but she has a stalker who is frustrated by all of the attention she’s giving to Ben. However, Ben is hiding an even bigger secret from Camelia. Readers will likely consider this revelation unoriginal and quite similar to something Edward explains to Bella in Twilight.

Deadly Little Secret is a young adult book full of another author’s ideas. It has an unexciting storyline with underdeveloped and childish characters. Moreover, seasoned readers will immediately recognize who Camelia’s stalker is. This book gets 1 1/2 pumps from me. I’m taking away 1 pump for each of the three Twilight déjà vu moments mentioned above, and another half away for Ben only being somewhat attractive. Trust me Vixens, this book is not worthy of your precious time.

What girl needs an excuse to read about a tough, sexy, and romantic Army man? I sure as hell don’t!! Bring it on, baby! In Dear John, Nicholas Sparks delivers a love story to readers (like me) who can’t seem to get enough of his epic fictitious relationships. However, in this particular novel, readers receive a unique glance into the life of John Tyree: the Army grunt and surprisingly tender man after my own heart!

The book begins in present time, as John is observing the one true love of his life, Savannah, from afar. Readers quickly begin to wonder why he is not scooping her up into his arms and whisking her away on horseback into the sunset. So what went wrong with John and Savannah? Why does John continue to love this woman even though he is not with her? Will he come marry me instead?! Oops… er, that last question may have just been something I was wondering! LOL But Sparks answers these questions and many more; and readers soon understand love is not as easy as it appears on the surface.

You see, their love story begins pre-9/11 while John is on leave visiting his reclusive coin-collecting father back home in North Carolina. John meets Savannah on the beach and is immediately captivated by her. So much so, he finds himself doing everything he can to impress her. One thing I truly enjoyed was how thoroughly Sparks described the male psyche. Every glance, every touch, every word was carefully calculated by John ensuring he wouldn’t offend Savannah. He was a perfect gentleman, AND THAT WAS THE PROBLEM!! Arg! I can appreciate the innocence of a new romance, but John was returning overseas and a guy needs a little lovin’ to keep him comin’ back to his woman. Am I right, ladies?!

Well needless to say, John goes back overseas (without getting any action!), but he and Savannah agree to write to each other all the time. This portion of the story began to drag for me because I was longing for more romance. However, after 9/11 occurs I found myself invested in the story, worrying over the impact that this huge event would have on John and Savannah’s relationship. With letters and occasional phone calls keeping their relationship together, I wondered if their love would overcome the hefty challenges of time and distance.

Dear John invites readers into the life of a young soldier who wants nothing more than to be with the woman he loves. Sparks won me over by giving me rare insight into the mind of a son, a boyfriend, a soldier, and a man. The raw emotions John has in the story permeated the pages and touched my heart. For these reasons, I give Dear John 4.5 out of 5 pumps. I am taking a half pump away from Sparks for failing to wow me with his abrupt ending that left me wanting nothing more than a John to call my own.

I-CARUMBA!!! If you’re in need of a sensually steamy, yet still very romantic getaway…than Too Wicked To Kiss is the book for you! This story totally claimed my interests (in more ways than one!) with its mystery, suspense, and sexy, brooding bachelor! Filled with elegant fashions and proper society of the time period, this murder mystery is jam-packed with unexpected twists that lead you to suspect every character.

The setting for this historical romance is in London in the year of 1813. More specifically, the story takes place at Blackberry Manor, the home of Gavin Lioncroft – our delightfully irresistible man-treat. The main character and heroin, Evangeline Pemberton, is a gifted psychic that has just lost her mother and is now desperate to escape her abusive stepfather. She runs to a family friend, Lady Stanton, whose daughter Susan was recently disgraced and shunned from proper society. Unfortunately, Evangeline soon finds herself being blackmailed by Lady Stanton and forced to assist Susan in trapping Gavin Lioncroft (a rich, alleged murderer) into marriage.

When Evangeline arrives at Blackberry manor and meets Gavin, she is caught off-guard by the attraction she feels for him. After a couple accidental and tantalizing encounters with this mysterious man, she learns just how mutual that attraction is. Due to her psychic abilities, Evangeline has never been able to touch anyone without experiencing emotional visions. Yet when her lips meet Gavin’s, she finds that her psychic visions vanish! After a mysterious death occurs in Blackberry Manor, Evangeline uses her gift to unearth the true culprit. It’s a very unique “who done it?” kind of story.

The author, Erica Ridley, has an easy-to-read writing style, with great descriptive qualities and emotional tones. Her vivid and lengthy love scenes are wildly intense, and exceptionally erotic! I am definitely looking forward to reading more from Erica Ridley. The raw sexual tension that is built between Gavin and Evangeline is enough to drive you insane! This man will take you from zero to climax in 60 seconds ladies, and I challenge anyone who thinks they’ll last longer! OOOWWW!!!

Overall, I give this book a 5 outta 5 Pumps! I found it refreshing and one of the best romances novels I have read in a while. With plenty of action, romantic tension, and sensual love scenes, readers will be eager for more. It is only fair that I give you a warning though: If you decide to journey into this lusty novel, I would whole-heartedly recommend picking up a pack of smokes to boot! You’re gonna need it! WHEW!!!

What does the death of a child do to loved ones left behind and what happens to that too young lost soul? The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold provides the Salmon family’s answers to just those questions when their eldest daughter, Susie, 14, is viciously murdered in December of 1973! It’s a tragically sad story that is beautifully written and it really makes readers examine their own moral strength.

The book begins with Sebold’s teenage character narrating the story of her brutal rape and murder by a serial killer neighbor as she takes a shortcut through the cornfield on her way home from school. It’s a brutal scene that was hard to get through but it was never crude. After her death, Susie watches over her grieving loved ones from her perch in heaven; specifically, Susie’s personal heaven. She watches as this vicious crime tears her family apart, brings together her community, and alters her friends’ lives forever. I pitied her father, was confused by her mother, wanted to love her little brother, and identified with her sister. And I, of course, wanted a long and painful public quartering for the murderous bastard that caused all of this. In a perfect world, right?

Sebold’s writing style is light and graceful which is odd when dealing with such a tragic subject. Losing a child is neither light nor graceful. The fact that she wrote this entire story from the murdered 14 year olds perspective as a heavenly soul, gives an air that I can only describe as sweet and content. This calmness sometimes resulted in slight boredom for me. But there was a great suspense-filled incident and then, later, a very tasteful and intimate love scene that reopened my interest when I thought it couldn’t be won over again.

The ending was particularly difficult for me to get through. Not because the writing style was bad or it wasn’t interesting, but because of the sad injustice that it presented me with. I certainly wouldn’t call it a happy ending. I believe the moral to the story was “forgiveness and letting go” but I wanted “substantial and committed justice” and “never letting go”! To be honest I’m crying as I type this so there must be something that really resonated with me. I’ll have to dig deep to figure that one out.

My first hair trigger response was to give this book a big fat 2 because of how affected I was by the ending. But after further reflection I’m giving it 4 outta 5 pumps and here’s why: Sebold is a charming and superb writer. I just realized that I simply disagreed with her view of justice and it made me think about my own sense of morals, which everyone hates doing. I didn’t know what I was in for when I pick this book up but I’m glad I did and I believe I’m better for it.

Inventive, Captivating, and Intriguing are three words that I would use to describe Graceling, by Kristin Cashore. This Young Adult (YA) Fantasy was unexpectedly good, and unlike any other book I’ve read to date. It’s imaginative plot will keep you enthralled, and eagerly awaiting each new original concept.

The story surrounds seven kingdoms: Nander, Wester, Estill, Sunder, Monsea, Middluns, and Lienid. There are two kinds of people in these kingdoms, the villagers and the graced:those who were born with extreme abilities and enhanced traits. Some gracelings are gifted in conventional skills such as sculpting, painting, or cooking; while others have more serious abilities like mind reading, combat skills, wielding knives, or seeing the future. The graced are easily recognizable to others, as they are all born with two different colored eyes. Unfortunately, this “defect”, along with their intimidating abilities, lead most villagers to fear them.

The main character, Katsa, is the niece of the King of Middlun; and is especially feared since she has the most unfortunate gift of all…one of killing (or so she believes). To Katsa’s extreme displeasure, her uncle (the King) uses this fear to manipulate the nobles of other kingdoms, and keep his own villagers in check. While reading this story, I kept thinking how Katsa would just totally RAWK ‘Vixenhood’ and easily make a great role model for young women today; she is courageous, powerful, full of integrity, and a little afraid of love. Although, we could probably teach her a thing or two on the ‘DIRTAY’ factor we all possess! OOWWWW!!!

Po is Katsa’s companion and eventual love interest; He is the Prince of Lienid and also graced. Though their personalities are very opposite from each other, life seems to have dictated their friendship, and they are thrown together to face many dangerous ventures. These two characters had just the right amount of chemistry. It was very easy to get lost in their story; yearning for their next kiss, and hoping to get some juicy deets from their ‘SHAG-Session’. Which, btw was quite disappointing, as they never did divulge the DEED! UGH! But I guess Dems are da breaks when you read a Young Adult novel. Since I’m on the topic of discontentment, I would also have to admit that some of the romantic plot was a bit predictable; Girl meets boy – Girl fights with boy – Girl falls in love with boy. You get the drift…

Aside from her exceptional creativity, Kristin Cashore’s writing style was just about average. I didn’t have any qualms with it, but nothing about her word usage or writing technique stood out to me as exceptional either. That said, I still think it was a great story, and definitely worth your time to read. Overall, I give this book a 3.5 pumps for running my imagination wild, and introducing characters that are just as odd as they are charming!

Are you on the Team Jacob side of the fence? If so, you were on my mind when I picked up this book! But unless you are completely obsessed with wolves and enjoy uninteresting characters, I doubt you will become fascinated by this storyline. Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater is based on your average boy-meets-girl scenario. Except the boy, Sam, is a beautiful yellow-eyed werewolf, and the girl, Grace, is the most boring character to enter the world of text!

This young adult book begins when Grace is attacked by a pack of wolves as a child. She is taken into the woods where the pack proceeds with what appears to be an attempt to kill her. To my disappointment, they are stopped when teen-wolf Sam carries her to safety. Grace eventually recovers from the attack and comes to know Sam as “her yellow-eyed wolf” who protectively watches her from the woods behind her house. The mundane back and forth stares between these two continue for what feels like forever with an occasional touch of fur sprinkled in for good measure. Yawn… exciting stuff, huh?

However, one day it is rumored that Grace’s classmate has been killed by the wolves, so a hunting party gathers to take down the wolf pack and, of course, Sam is caught in the cross-fire. Sam shifts into human form and finds himself naked and injured on Grace’s back porch. And I’ll just warn you, it took 60 pages to get to this part! Chinese water torture is more appealing than struggling through pages and pages of lackluster plot! C’mon Mags where’s your creative bone, girl??

Anyway, after Sam shifts into a human, naturally he and Grace fall in love. What’s not to love? He’s smart, creative, and oh-so-sexy! And this Vixen has to give it to Grace for snagging some sweet lovins from her wolf boy when the situation popped up! Get it? Popped up?? As a side note, I am very proud to reveal that I read this part of the book twice! Oww! And because Grace has parents that barely notice her, she does everything she can to keep Sam in human form. You see, when the cold temperatures arrive, the werewolves “shed” their human form by shivering and remain in the woods until the warmer season returns. Yet, readers learn that Sam won’t be turning back into a human again. So Grace and Sam do everything they can to hold onto each other and their love.

Unfortunately, even in the good parts, I believe that Stiefvater failed to capture the audience with her narrative. She could’ve had a great novel under her belt, but she missed out on so much, which made the storyline just slightly okay. I give Shiver 2 ½ pumps. I’m taking one away for Grace and her lame-ass-ness; another away for the mind-numbing supporting characters I didn’t care about; and half of a pump away for the plot that barely maintained enough spark to keep me reading.

I’m already a sucker for a good historical romance, but when you throw a little ‘supah-natural’ in the mix, I’m in Heaven! And that, my friends, is where Laura Whitcomb’s The Fetch enters my world. Her enlightened vision of the afterlife follows Calder, a Fetch, whose sole job is to comfort the dying and act as a guide to assist them through their death doors into Heaven. This book is beautifully written and weaves around the tragic story of the end of the Romanov Dynasty during the Russian Revolution of 1917. The mystery that is specifically addressed is, “What happened to the remains of the Tsar Nicholas’ two youngest children, Anastasia and Alexis (Alexei), after the entire family was massacred?”

The plot to this tale gradually reveals itself as the very lonely Calder breaks his sacred Fetch vows by becoming obsessed with a beautiful woman he finds at an infant’s (Alexis Romanov’s) death scene. In order to pursue this woman, Calder breaks into the human world by taking over the dying body of the Romanov family’s mystic healer, Grigori Rasputin. This transition leaves a massive rupture between the worlds that can only be mended by a missing key. Accompanied by the embodied spirits of Anastasia and Alexis, Calder embarks on a long, really long, long journey to find the key. Along the way, they are pursued by Rasputin’s spirit and a whole host of malicious lost souls. But still, the overall voyage tends to be, ah – what’s the word? Oh, yeah… “LONG!” Though, in the end, it proves completely necessary to allow for Calder’s own self-discovery.

Romance creeps slowly into the story-line between Calder and Anastasia. And I do mean ‘creeps’. When Calder dies, he is a 19 year old young man and that is how Anastasia sees him as well; even after he takes over Rasputin’s body. It really is hard to get past this fact when THE WORLD is witnessing a beat up 44 year old mystic falling for a 17 year old girl. Am I wrong here or is “Statutory Rape” not considered illegal in most, if not all, of the known free world? Call me closed-minded but I just couldn’t get past that detail, especially when Calder thought about kissing her or holding her hand. CREEPY!

This would be a great discussion book as it certainly gets readers thinking about Heaven, the afterlife, and the nature of “sin and forgiveness;” so I am giving it 4 outta 5 pumps. Although the plot gets slow at times, Whitcomb’s descriptions of an afterlife are exceptional and well thought-out while the characters are real, introspective, and full of life. Plus the ending will leave you hoping for a happily ever after for The Fetch. It’s come to pass that the remains of missing Romanov children were found in 2007 and DNA testing proved their identities but still … the mystery and speculation surrounding this tragic tale lends it the potential to be a story for the ages!

How do I begin to describe the whirlwind that is Audrey Niffenegger’s The Time Traveler’s Wife? This book knocked me off my feet and filled my heart with powerful emotions. Henry DeTamble is the time traveler in this book, however, his adventures are not by choice. Henry has a genetic disorder that instantly forces him to abandon the present and thrusts him into the unknown. During his travels, he cannot take anything material with him. Therefore, he is often naked which is quite the treat for us Vixens! Regardless of Henry’s unique existence, he remains very normal. And yet, what he wants more than anything is the one person he is always leaving; his wife, Clare.

Clare Abshire chronologically saunters through life like everyone else; everyone but Henry that is. She meets Henry when she is 6 years old while playing in the Meadow on her parent’s property. Henry is in his thirties and instantly finds himself conversing with this inquisitive child. No, he’s not some sick pedophile! Believe it or not, he’s actually only 8 years older than Clare! Using a journal filled with dates populated by Henry, Clare prepares herself for a life filled with Henry’s comings and goings. In an excerpt Clare says, “It’s hard being left behind. I wait for Henry, not knowing where he is, wondering if he’s okay. It’s hard to be the one who stays.”

The reader will quickly become engrossed in this book’s storyline. Each chapter outlines the dates and ages of the characters making it easy to catch on to the recurring theme. A detail that readers learn to appreciate is that Henry cannot alter the future with his presence. There is also a lot of foreshadowing in this book, so pay special attention to the particulars! Still, what I enjoyed most was the abiding love that radiated from the text. Henry and Clare’s relationship can only be described in one word: epic. Epic amidst all of the typical lifetime experiences such as: friendship, discovery, passion, and unrivaled intimacy. Although, I must say I am quite disappointed in Niffenegger’s uncanny ability to end a chapter just as the clothes were flying off! I’ve got two words for you: Twilight Sex. C’mon Audrey, that was not very Vixen-like of you!

Nevertheless, TTTW nurtures the soul of the hardcore romantic. Niffenegger introduces a unique element to relationships and eradicates the barriers of time. Even with this challenge, she stunningly untangles the often confusing journey with ease. Personally, I know I’ve enjoyed a book when I turn the last page, examine myself, and discover that I look like something out of a Rambo film! Can someone please remind me to invest in waterproof mascara?!

Because I am such a sucker for love stories, and since I can’t stop thinking about Henry and Clare, I give this incredible book 4 ½ outta 5 pumps! I’m only taking a half pump away for the pseudo-Twilight bedroom scenes that left me biting pillows of my very own!

DING DING DING! Can I have your attention please?! The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins is hands down, one of the best books I’ve ever read! This young adult story is surprisingly enticing and full of suspense! It will leave you breathlessly anticipating what’s next throughout the entire book. It is only fair to warn you though – if your looking for a story with closure, you won’t find it until October! Hunger Games is the first book in a series and book two will not be out until October 2009. SO LET THE COUNTDOWN BEGIN!!

The story takes place in a post apocalyptic world, where the Capitol city “Panem” maintains political control over 12 worldwide Districts. However, this is not the story of a glorious new nation that cares for its people. On the contrary, the rich State of Panem leaves most of its districts in poverty, and forces them to obey extreme laws punishable by death. This uncaring and cold regiment (which significantly resembles that of a communist society) has also demanded that two “tributes” from each District, between the ages of 12 to 18, be used as gladiators in a televised fight to the death where only one can survive. The winning tribute receives a years worth of rations for their District, and a life of ease for themselves and their family. It’s like the ultimate reality T.V. show, infused with lots of shock and awe!

While reading this story, I completely fell in love with the two main characters. Katniss (yes, ridiculous name I agree), is the perfect role model for any teenager. She’s a strong, caring 16 year old girl with an incredible knack for survival due to a life of hard living! The heavy responsibility of feeding and protecting her family in a very poor district fell on her shoulders after her father’s death. Peeta is a sweet, witty and funny young man who easily steals your heart with his charm! Though just an acquaintance to Katniss, Peeta eventually comes to mean more to her than she ever expected. The chemistry between these two characters is addicting, and really forces the reader to experience a range of emotions! I laughed, I cried…I felt like a teenager again!

My favorite aspect of this book was its unpredictability. Just when I thought I knew what was coming, something completely unexpected happened instead. Suzanne Collins did an excellent job of keeping the reader guessing; flawlessly arranging the hints and clues to keep the reader engaged in the story. I gave this book 5 outta 5 pumps for its creativity, enticing action scenes, and encompassing love story!

Talk about a wild ride! Desire Untamed, by Pamela Palmer was full of unanticipated bombshells and interesting twists! There were many times when I caught myself staring outrageously at the book, jaw wide open. Though, I’ll admit that the overall theme of the book was similar to other things I’ve read in the past, the storyline itself was actually quite different. And ladies, I certainly can’t forget the passionate segments. Oooo-la-la, is all I have to say about that. Ok so I’m lying…I have MUCH more to say about it, but let’s wait a couple paragraphs shall we?

This tale is not one of Vampires…but rather shapeshifters; an entire band of them actually. Not quite like a band of Merry Men or a Rock band per say… more like a band of brothers. There are six of these brothers, each one chosen to fulfill their warrior destiny. They are the protectors of their race, trying to keep away an Ancient Evil enemy. If this is starting to sound a little familiar, that MUST be because you read my review on the Black Dagger Brotherhood Series, and you are detecting the similarities between the two. Don’t let that deter you from reading this book though! You will still enjoy the unique developments that take place within the storyline.

The man-treats…errr, I mean leading characters in this book are all shapeshifters, each one bound to their own specific animal. Moreover, they are all completely plain and ordinary looking—Pssshhhaw! Of course not, they are drop-dead gorgeous beasts with rock-hard bodies to boot. The leader (or King) of this brotherhood is named Lyon and I’ll give you two guesses on what animal he is bound to shift into (wink). But don’t fret, the other characters don’t follow such an obvious naming pattern.

Now…onto the good stuff! If you’re looking for the kind of sizzle you find in a Denny’s frying pan, look no further! The sex scenes were SMOKIN! I literally put my book down after reading through one steamy scenario just to text the other Vixens about it. The problem, you ask? I was just too damn out of breath to call them, if ya know what I’m saying… OOWWW!!!

Lastly, I should tell you that this book is actually the first in a series of Feral Warrior Novels, so I can’t yet vouch for the others. However, I do plan to read and review them all separately; so watch for my posts! If the next books are as fun and sexy as this one I’m sure I’ll enjoy them just as much. With all that said, I give Desire Untamed 3.5 pumps for its attention grabbing twists, and hussylicious content! I took one pump away for the overall theme being too similar to other books of this genre. The other half of a pump was taken away based on the author’s audacity to name her leading character Lyon…who, (now I don’t want to spoil it for you) is actually a lion!

In Twilight, did you enjoy the fact that Edward could read minds and Alice could predict the future? Well, you’re in luck! Shiloh Walker’s The Missing introduces Taige Branch, a teenage psychic who has a precious skill for visions involving children. Early in the book, she becomes known throughout her area as a heroine who has rescued children from drowning, has discovered missing bodies, and even aided in solving murder cases. However, Taige is not your typical cheery, bubbly teenager. While very beautiful, she is known as a freak that purposefully closes herself off from the rest of the world.

Enter Cullen. No, I’m not talking about Edward Cullen, ladies! I know he is our every reason for living, but stay with me! Cullen Morgan is a new breed of Cullen HOTNESS! Picture this: he’s tall, has chocolate brown hair, a nice build, and eyes that make the cool shades of the ocean look ordinary. Hello? Can we say eye candy?! Well, he gets even MORE desirable when he saves Taige from a nightmare that almost comes true; and from that moment on they are forever bonded.

What I liked most about this book is that the plot is especially captivating. It is a monster of a page turner that left me feeling as though I was cheating on my book by going to bed instead of reading! Taige’s unique visions are woven throughout the storyline. However, because she doesn’t quite have a grasp on her gift, she isn’t sure if what she sees occurs in the past, present, or future. This allowed me to creatively explore the possibilities, and when I was able to predict a few outcomes, I was left feeling slightly unsatisfied.

Still, Taige and Cullen’s relationship made this book worthy of my time. The reader can easily see why they belong together; but life crapped on their plans for a happy ending, sending them on separate paths. Several years later, Cullen finds Taige to help him with a situation involving his daughter. I was so excited for his return even though their reunion is less than ideal, and their actions were awkward and clumsy. Even so, there is no denying their past and unexplainable connection. Their romance left me sexually stimulated and needing some action of my own – A girl’s gotta ‘eat’, right?!

The Missing is a dark love story about two incredible characters. Their relationship gave me whiplash, to quote our girl Bella, but I never gave up on their potential. Yet, it is the plot that I enjoyed the most! The atmosphere is murky and depressing, and their circumstances overwhelm the reader. If you are sensitive about situations involving children, you should know that I’m a big baby, and I managed to get through this story unscathed. This book gets 3 ½ out of 5 pumps. I’m taking 1 away for the fact that I had predicted what would happen early on, and another ½ away for the author’s average writing style.

Can I say how incredibly excited I was to read Bram Stoker’s Dracula? It is the literary work of art that started it all! There would be no Twilight or Edward Cullen without the Grand Pubah that is Dracula! I am grateful to its existence for that reason and believe it deserves a high level of respect for never going out of print since its debut in 1897! 112 years of longevity, baby! Oww! However, I found myself conflicted between the longing I’ve always had for the more romantic and simple era and my modern expectations of what a horror story should be.

The seven main characters in Dracula, minus its namesake, form a union to eradicate the evil that is the ‘undead’ and all that it has infected, to include England. After a young and beautiful acquaintance of theirs is struck down with a strange blood disorder, or so it’s believed to be, they make this their sole mission. The two most distinctive characters were Dracula and the mentor-hero, Dr. Abraham VanHelsing. These are the only characters that Stoker takes the time to give detailed physical descriptions of! He even bestows his own first name to the good doctor. After much research, Dracula’s character emerges out of the history books and is brought back to life based on a real fifteenth century Wallacian warrior prince, aka “Vlad the Impaler.” So Drac’s not from Transylvania, people! Stick that in your Trivial Pursuit and sit on it!

If you consider yourself a bit of a ‘Nosey Nelly’ and would just love to get your hands on your neighbors mail or your daughters diary, you will love the fact that this entire novel is written in the form of personal documents ranging from journal entries, to news articles, to even telegrams. This form of writing does chronologically jump around, but also gives you various characters perspectives of the story line.

There are many editions of this book in print. I read the version that includes a Foreword by Elizabeth Kostova, author of The Historian. She drew inspiration from Bram Stoker’s Dracula in writing her novel and I was convinced of her deep love for this story. It was extremely interesting to read her interpretation of Stoker’s thinking behind his writings and how it may have all tied into his own life experiences. The Foreword may have actually been my favorite part of this book!

I give Dracula Three, Three Vixen Pumps! AH AH AH AH! (Okay, bad “Count from Sesame Street” impression, just couldn’t let THAT opportunity pass me by?) I have to take one pump away for the lack of suspense. Back in the late 19th Century, readers considered this novel overly suspenseful but it just doesn’t measure up with today’s expectations of the genre. I took another pump away for the difficulty in reading the various European accents (albeit, comical at times) and English dialect that was common in Victorian England.

If you’re looking for a series to capture both the male and female audience, The Black Dagger Brotherhood is it! This series is filled with intense action scenes, light-hearted comedy, and the kind of sex scenes that leave your tongue draggin the pages and heart racing at each climax. You smellin what I’m cookin?!

The Black Dagger Brotherhood is an erotic, paranormal romance series by J. R. Ward. This chronicle surrounds six vampire warriors who are bound by brotherhood and sworn to protect their race against the Lessers: de-souled humans who threaten their kind. This ongoing war between the Brotherhood and the Lessers is your typical good vs. evil scenario with romantic love stories intertwined. Each book is focused on a specific warrior and his saga, yet the ensuing war drives the plot to thicken with each book; coincidentally, so does the warrior’s ‘size’, if you get my drift!

The setting of the story truly adds to the excitement, as it takes place in the heart of modern-day Boston, giving it that dark and edgy feel. The depiction of the surroundings gives the reader an eerie sense of anxiety throughout, especially when the Brothers are out on the prowl, hunting for their next victim (or love interest, whichever it may be). Whether they’re in a trendy downtown club, or a hoity-toity suburb, the author’s choice of location is perfect for each scene.

The vampire warriors in the Brotherhood are totally entertaining and deliciously tempting! J.R. Ward had me rolling at the hilarious repartee that goes on between the warriors throughout the series. She also does a great job of capturing the essence of ‘man-talk’; none of that cheesy “Fabio” crap that sometimes interferes with your sexual fantasy, errrr (COUGH)… I mean visual representation of the story. This author should win a prize for her ability to create characters that embody every girl’s ‘dream man’ six times over! I’m not going to lie and say that I fell in love with these beefy man-treats, but I definitely fell in ‘lust’ with them! The steamy sex scenes had me literally coming up for air afterwards, and panting like the ‘Twigar’ I am! Raaawwrrr!

The Black Dagger Brotherhood is definitely a series I would recommend to any vampire loving girlfriend of mine. It will keep you thoroughly entertained for weeks since there are nine books altogether. If I’m being honest though, the individual storylines do get a bit predictable by book three. But I’m not your Momma, so let’s not pretend that you’re going to be reading these books for the plot! OOOWWWW!!! NAUGHTAY! So with all that in mind, I give this book a 4 outta 5 Humps…I mean Pumps! Yes, four incredible, everlasting Pumps! Whew! Anyone got a cigarette?

Do you close your eyes or change the channel when a scary movie crosses your television screen? Well, you are in good company with me! I am the last person that should be reading anything related to the supernatural because I get so freaked out that I can’t sleep for weeks! However, A Certain Slant of Light by Laura Whitcomb, is anything but your typical spooky ghost story.

In the beginning, the reader is introduced to Helen, a young woman who refers to herself as a spirit of the Light; a soul floating in the midst of the Quick, or living humans. She died nearly 130 years ago and has been clinging to human hosts to “haunt” ever since. Helen is not a scary ghost; instead, she acts as a shadow or a proud guardian to her host. The man she is currently following is a high school English Teacher named Mr. Brown. The reader is captivated by Helen within the first two pages of the book when a student actually sees her standing in the classroom! Yet, this student is unique because he is being claimed by another spirit of the Light who goes by the name of James.

I enjoyed this book thoroughly due to James and Helen’s relationship and the world that separates them from each other. Helen desires nothing more than to be with James every second of every day. Their emotions and interactions with one another made me feel as though I was re-living my days with my first love again. The high-charged emotions I felt and the love that I will forever cherish, were reignited by this odd couple. Furthermore, the underlying story of why Helen has not made her journey to heaven kept me intrigued and demanding answers. Throughout the book, Helen begins to see glimpses into her life before she was Light. What she remembers chilled my bones and left me feeling anxious for her.

Laura Whitcomb creates a world that invites the reader in. She made me reconsider what is important in life, and will likely do the same for you. Even if just briefly, take a moment to appreciate your lover’s scent, the taste and crunch of a juicy apple, or the sensation that you feel in your heart when it is filled with love or sadness. Whitcomb reminds us that these are the precious moments in life we should never forget. Also, the last 20 pages provides readers with all the answers that they need. Whitcomb shatters our hearts into a million pieces, but somehow manages to put them back together again like a beautiful mosaic. This book gets my full stamp of approval with 5 out of 5 pumps! A word to the wise: toward the end of the book be sure to keep a full box of tissues at arm’s reach, because you will need them!

Tall, dark, and handsome. These are the typical criteria for most women looking for the real-life men who star in their dreams. In the Midnight Breed Series, by Lara Adrian this wish is granted and even magnified over and over again with each turn of the page. This series offers up another perspective on vampires; they don’t sparkle, they don’t drink the blood of animals, and they certainly aren’t teenagers! Instead, Adrian’s vampires are gorgeous, dangerous, erotic, and statuesque warriors referred to as the Order. These men are the ultimate protectors who take the law, and their women, into their own hands.

With the Breed collection, I enjoyed how each book followed a different member of the Order, and introduced a new female love interest. Every volume delivers several no holds barred, juicy, and scintillating love scenes that left me aching with pleasure and yearning for more. If you’re needing to release some pent up sexual frustration, Adrian certainly delivers the goods! On more occasions than I am willing to admit, I actually released several “mmm hmm’s” while reading these steamy sex scenes. I kept imagining how very different our world would be if these bad boys were the real deal. Oh, and if you have a thing for men with tattoos, just wait until you envision these handsome vampires in the buff; their body markings are beautifully described and incredibly spectacular!

While the love stories and the interactions between the vampires and their mates are quite prominent in this series, it is not done in a cheesy or degrading manner. Adrian’s female characters are very strong-willed, and gifted women in their own distinct ways. Each would be welcomed in with the Vixen crowd any day! With each book, I found myself relating to these women and agonizing over their mistakes and celebrating their bravery. In addition, the love scenes are well-balanced out by adding some hearty conflict between “good and evil” along with the Order’s desire for justice to be met.

Now, let this serve as your warning: The Midnight Breed Series is not intended for young adults! If you’re looking for sparkling, self-loathing vegetarians, don’t come here! Adrian’s warriors are wild, unashamed animals in the sack and trained, blood thirsty assassins on the streets. She gives her mature readers what they want: vampires, sex, action, and details! Now, I’m by no means a prude, but the language does become quite vulgar due to the testosterone charged characters. Also, only 6 of the 8 books are currently out, so there is definitely more of our Breed Boys to follow! Because of these little annoyances and minor inconveniences, I have to take one pump away giving this great series 4 out of 5 pumps!

The Sookie Stackhouse Series, by Charlaine Harris is an absolute MUST READ for vampire lovers everywhere!!  BE WARNED though—The vampires in this exciting series are not like the swanky, glamorous, vegetarians that you find in Twilight.

The Sookie series takes place in the fictional town of Bon Temps, Louisiana; a backwoods, redneck location.  At first I was taken back by this setting, allowing my bias for the usual sexy, urbane vampires take over.  However, once I got to know the delightfully-tacky people of Bon Temps, I completely fell in love!  Their tendency to resemble what most people would call “typical trailer trash” surprisingly became the heart of my enjoyment.  The setting truly adds to the unique charm and continuous comedy in the series.

The readers enter on a BANG, starting with a news broadcast of a scientific breakthrough among the medical community.  You go on to learn that the Japanese have invented a synthetic blood substitute, TruBlood, in hopes of alleviating the demand for human blood donors in hospitals.   Of course, the secret race of vampires see this is as opportunity for them to ‘come out of the closet’ and announce to the public that they are real!  They go on to claim that this new invention of TruBlood will enable them to live among society with humans, on account of they won’t have to kill anymore to survive.

The nine books continue to revolve around the adventures of a barmaid named Sookie, who is anything but your average girl.  Sookie has the gift of telepathy, though she refers to it as her disability.  Relationships are not easy for Sookie, as she is always aware of what everyone is thinking.  But something happens the day she meets her first vampire; Sookie discovers that her disability doesn’t pertain to this recently “outted” race, and with that she finds the peace of mind she’s been longing for.  As her relationships grow with the second-natured so does her status among them.  This humorously presents just as many challenges as benefits.  Sookie’s uncanny ability to attract danger at every turn helps form the series overarching plot which will keep you constantly entertained.

Vampires are not the only fictional characters introduced in this series; each book holds new surprises and enticing drama to boot.  The character development is flawless, allowing the reader to really appreciate each individual’s circumstances.  Charlaine Harris has an incredible knack for using humor during moments that would seem too intense to most authors.  Using heavy sarcasm, she is able to maintain a light hearted feel even during the darkest hours.

In reading these books, you get to experience Sookie’s many exciting escapades in which love is formed and lives are always at stake!  It’s definitely my favorite adult vampire series thus far!  I give this series 5 outta 5 pumps for being full of imagination and unique flavor.

I was “roll my eyes” suspicious, to say the least, that this young adult novel would be worth my “sophisticated woman” time. I mean high school romance, vampires, etc. Even the aesthetics of the words on the page had an elemental “largeness” about them that said, “How old are you, Piper?!?!” But, before I knew it, Stephenie Meyer’s novel, Twilight, had me enthralled! I hadn’t read a book that quickly in ages! The main theme that I took away from Twilight is that there is a fine line between good and evil. But, no matter what, love endures and wins over all adversity, even if that adversity comes in the form of your true love.

Enter Edward Cullen!  This character draws from the typical “bad boy” persona that all the good girls (and bad girls for that matter, including this one) absolutely CRAVE, and he’s a vampire to boot.  Nothing sexier!  My raw draw to Edward was based on his inability to fight the “thirst” he has for Bella.  There is no greater turn-on than a man who has no power over his need for the woman he loves.  However, she also arouses his blood lust, and that adds an air of danger to their budding romance.  Needless to say, you can cut the sexual tension with a knife. It drips off the page. Yes, it’s drippy sexual tension, the very best kind.

This book’s easy writing style and “falling in love with a vampire” story line made it a seriously fast read. Don’t get me wrong! There were times when I’d get to a part where I’d throw my head back and laugh to myself with embarrassment that I was reading this book about high schoolers. But I think that was more of the label I put on the book from its reputation of being young adult. The appeal definitely crosses the age barrier between teenagers and adults. It’s written from Bella’s perspective,  so it’s very easy to fall in love with Edward right along with her. There are aspects not only of new love and romance, but also of danger and self-sacrifice. I was intrigued with how this fantasy has such a strange way of fitting so nicely into a real setting. Once I was finished, I felt a genuine ache for more. I missed Edward and the love between him and Bella.

While I was “roll my eyes” suspicious when I first picked up this novel, now I’m “eyes rolled back” in love with Edward. I give Twilight 5 outta 5 PUMPS! Definitely HAWT, Baby!

If you’re an Edward fan like me, then New Moon may leave you slightly sour on account of its “severe Cullen deficiency”. Stop Googling ladies, it’s not a disease! I’m talking about the lack of a certain sparkling vampire with great hair and a dazzling smile. (Insert heavy sigh here) Our lovable Cullen’s were missing from almost the entire book, in fact, they didn’t make a significant appearance until the last 100 pages! I cry foul to that SM!

On a good note though, where the story lacks in “brooding vampires”, it totally makes up for with wolf-charm! The Quileute tribe and wolf pack were an exciting addition to the story. I found myself getting completely sucked in to the tribal legends explaining the history of the wolves, which were passed down from many generations.

New Moon provides us with some of the best emotionally charged scenes in the series. The pain that Bella feels when Edward abandons her is extremely well written; totally capturing the type of heartbreak and misery a teenage girl would experience when losing the love of her life. I found myself on the verge of cursing Edward for all that gloom. So, if you’re an emotional wimp like me, than get the Kleenex ready!

Bella maintains her annoying charisma throughout the story, while Jacob turns out to be surprisingly decadent in all his wolf-charm. The relationship that develops between Bella and Jacob in New Moon was very passionate at times, leaving me wanting more. Though part of me felt like I was betraying Edward until I quickly realized that with Bella and Jacob together, I could have McSparkle to myself! NAUGHTAY!

New Moon introduces some new and intense characters towards the end of the story: the Volturri. This clan makes up the oldest of the vampire race and are the keepers of the vampire justice system. It is in Italy, at the residence of the Volturri, where we finally get our glimpse of Edward again. ABOUT TIME! This is where the real drama begins and the story really takes off.

Reviewing this book presented many challenges for me in that my favorite character (Edward) was missing for 3/4’s of the story. At times, i found myself losing interest and wondering when the hell he was going to return to the story, rather than giving my full attention to Jacob and Bella. All considered, New Moon may be filled with heart break and sorrow, but the struggle through the first 500 pages turned out to be worthy of the last 100. I give New Moon 4 out of 5 pumps! 1 pump taken away for its lack of Edward appearances.

My favorite book of all would’ve been Eclipse if it hadn’t been for Breaking Dawn. Eclipse is the most developed book thus far because I truly felt as though I knew the characters inside and out. Also, by this time most readers have chosen sides; Team Edward or Team Jacob? Is there really a contest?! I don’t know about you, but I’m a big fan of self-loathing boys who sparkle! Also, to say the least, this book pulls at your heartstrings in both directions. It leaves the reader feeling completely and utterly exhausted and even, dare I say, sexually aroused! That’s right ladies; hold onto your knickers because it’s like THAT in Eclipse!

In the third book of the Twilight Saga, Bella’s desire to be changed into a vampire takes over every rational thought in her mind. Trust me, if I had my very own Edward I would’ve found ways to pounce on his face until he bit me already! Someone really should have given Bella a lesson or two in manipulation! Still, her persistence does become annoying in this book but I think she was quite justified in her irrational vampire-crazed state of mind.

Then of course, there’s Jacob. Ugh, his name alone makes me shudder. The sexy, tall, dark skinned, hot-blooded Quileute-slash-werewolf boy who is infatuated with Bella, is still around to complicate things in Eclipse. Even Edward can’t blame the kid for his persistence and devotion! One thing I can appreciate is Jacob’s sarcasm and charisma; he’s quite refreshing and even welcoming in contrast to the other more dramatic and somber characters like Jasper. If you’re like me, and there isn’t anything romantically enticing about Jacob, just you wait! Out of the entire series, Jacob is part of the steamiest, most passionate, pleasurable, and that’s right, wettest romantic scenes! He will surely get your blood boiling and make you crave a cigarette afterward… Whew!

Ah, and of course it wouldn’t be a Twilight book if it weren’t for some bad guys. The fight scene that ensues in Eclipse is Stephenie Meyer’s very best in the entire series. The battle lines have been drawn and the reader is surprised by the players on the Cullen’s team. But with the steamy love triangle and endless choices that Bella needs to make, who really cares about vampires coming to kill her?! Let’s get back to the scene in the tent with Jacob and Edward shall we? Bring on the good stuff, baby!

This third book is a fantastic read! I couldn’t have been more pleased with the creativity and energy that went into the storyline. The reader feels captivated by the characters, and longs to accompany Bella on her journey to discover where her desires will lead her. I give Eclipse 4.5 out of 5 pumps, because it was one of the best books in the series, but I had to take away half a pump for Jacob, and not my man Edward, having the sexiest scene in the book.

Sigh… we can’t believe we’ve finished all of the books!  What are we going to do without HIM?!  Breaking Dawn, the last installment in the Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer, was by far the best of them all in our consolidated Vixen opinion.  Bella and Edward’s relationship comes full circle, and she gets what she’s wanted all along.  But is the price too high?

The story was full of sexual innuendo and mouth-watering teasers!  YES, they finally DO IT!!  HELL, it only took 3 books, 1,690 pages and 422,500 words to relieve that palm sweating, heart racing, sexual frustration!  Although, we realize this book was written for a younger audience, it didn’t stop our lower lip from turning down at the lack of details given about their seemingly incredible mattress mambo!  I mean come on, what TWIGAR wasn’t hoping for super juicy, window-steaming details of exactly which way they did it and how many times?!  Nevertheless, when we finished throwing our temper-tantrums, we had to acknowledge that even with the lack of ‘steam’, SM delivered an incredibly written story about two lovers willing to sacrifice anything for love.

There are so many new characters introduced in this story, from the new members of the wolf pack to entire family branches of the Vampire race.  Each new character is gifted in their own diverse way and truly adds to the storyline.  Jacob of course, maintains his obsession with Bella, but the readers are finally enlightened as to why their connection is so strong.  This revelation is shocking and quite disturbing to say the least.  Edward remains his perfectly dreamy self, stealing our hearts all over again; while Bella finally becomes the woman she was meant to be.

We give Breaking Dawn 5 outta 5 pumps because of the great conclusion to an even greater love story.  But beware!  The twists, turns, and surprises will leave you sleep deprived and late for work!

While reading Twilight did you ever think to yourself, “Bella is so naive and immature! I wonder how a grown up would think or act in this position?” Well, you’re in luck! The soon-to-be fifth book in the Twilight Saga, called Midnight Sun is Stephenie Meyer’s finest, yet unfinished work, because it’s the Twilight story from Edward’s perspective. He is what the series is all about anyway, right? Now, I know what you’re thinking; “Why in the hell didn’t Stephenie put this out instead of Twilight?!” Your guess is about as good as mine! And as great as Twilight has done, I think Midnight Sun is going to do just as well.

In the beginning, we discover that Twilight is about the relationship dynamics between sparkley vampire hottie Edward, and the average human teenager Bella. However, what Stephenie Meyer offers in Midnight Sun is the realness and the urgency behind Edward’s obsession with Bella. Every awkward moment is clarified, and just when you think you can predict Mr. Perfect’s next thought, he offers up a surprisingly different side of himself. Because the other books are written from the perspective of Bella, I don’t think that they provided an equally authentic depiction of the essence of Edward. Every self-loathing moment that crushed my heart, and every romantic scene that made my loins call out to him for more is magnified and enhanced brilliantly.

Even though this book is only a draft, we hope that Stephenie Meyer has every intention of finishing this project one of these days. While part of me thinks we should all cut her some slack for delaying the release of this future literary masterpiece (that’s right, I said it), the other part of me thinks, “What are you waiting for, you crazy woman?! You’re depriving me of the very thing that gets my blood boiling!” Sigh, well for now, I guess I’ll have to stick to staring at the pictures we have posted on For All the Stupid Lambs and dreaming about MY Edward coming to life in the written word again very, very soon.

At this time, I predict that some of the very best parts of this book will include more character development of the Cullen family. We are given a small taste of this during the short 264 pages of the current draft. But I think we’ll get much more of Carlisle, Emmett, Alice and the gang, than we ever had imagined! Additionally, I think this book will be far more romantic and heart-pounding than the sometimes weak and fragile depiction that Bella offers up. Based upon what I have read, I don’t want to rate this book quite yet, because I don’t think that’s fair to the author and her characters. However, prepare yourself, because this book will leave you wanting more….

Midnight Sun cover art courtesy of artist Richard Solis