Fashion, flirting and fornicating! The three staple things a girl of today’s modern world embodies, right? But does that translate to the women of the 1920’s? You bet-cher Betty Boop it does! At least it does in Sophie Kinsella’s book, Twenties Girl. Sadie is a partying, fashion forward flapper who makes the most out of life but she has a few problems. She’s lost her necklace and, oh yeah, she’s sorta dead!

Sadie was born in the early 1900s and died a drooly old lady in a nursing home when she was a ripe old 105. However, her ghost is in her younger 23-year-old form and she’s haunting her 27-year-old great niece, Lara Leighton who turns out to be a serious mess. She’s just been dumped by the love of her life AND her business partner. She’s broke and going crazy because she thinks her Great Aunt Sadie’s ghost is haunting her. She can hear and see her plain as day going around screaming at strangers to get them to do her bidding… and its working! Of course, Lara is the only person who can see and communicate with Sadie so she badgers Lara into recovering her beautiful dragonfly necklace. Sadie is not all together sure why, but she knows that she cannot rest until its back in her possession. But where could it be? Or should we say “Who lifted it?”

We meet various lively and expertly developed cast members along the way to solving this mystery. A greedy, rich snake of an uncle, a ditzy self-centered flake of a cousin and boring yet bothersome parents are all suspects! Enter the classic preppy business man with penetrating eyes that has caught Sadie’s attention! Hello Daddy-O!! And she wants him. But the only way she can get him is through Lara. “Anyway you can get it” is what I always say! OWW! A reluctant albeit comical romance develops between Lara and this frowny American. Much to Sadie’s shagrin.

Eventually, Sadie and Lara start to unknowingly learn from one another and the impressions that they leave on the other are life (and death from Sadie’s point of view) altering. Lara uncovered the fact that Sadie’s life meant so much more to so many more lives than she could ever imagine. And Sadie helped Lara figure out the difference between going through the motions of a relationship and really living and loving another person by letting go of her inhibitions.

This was a fun and light story that I absolutely loved! The ending was a bit heavier but delivered a sweet and tender message of family and keeping yours close. I’m giving this book 4.5 outta 5 pumps. Minus .5 for the lack of steamy sex! Sheesh, can I catch a break with the no-sex books already??? But I took away a valuable lesson from Twenties Girl. I want to be just like Sadie when I am 105 years old…. minus the drooling of course!

Wisty! Whit! New Order! Magic! Ahhh, Fire! Prison! Dead girlfriend! Escape! Look a puppy! A.D.D. anyone??? I seriously think that James Patterson and/or Gabrielle Charbonnet are card-carrying members of A.D.D. Anonymous because that’s what reading their sorcery-slash-dystopia novel, Witch & Wizard was like with its 300 pages and about 100-ish chapters! In it, a smart aleck-y 15 year old girl, Wisty Allgood, and her older brother, Whit, are fugitives of the New Order, a newly elected but suppressive political regime that is absolutely con-witch/wizardry. This administration completely changes the world while everyone is asleep one night. …seriously…

Wisty and Whit are unaware of their supernatural abilities until the New Order comes to arrest them for it and Wisty burst into flames. Neat trick, huh? They are eventually overcome and thrown into prison where they have time to explore their new abilities. It also becomes evident during this time that the leader of the New Order holds a personal vendetta against the Allgood family as a whole. Despite the efforts of their “Nurse Ratched” type guards, they escape with the help of Whit’s dead girlfriend (yes, I said dead…she’s a ghost). While attempting to find & save their parents, they encounter group of teenage revolutionaries who are surviving in a holocaust type world. They believe the bewitched duo to be mystical entities and also prophets who will use their power to restore harmony and overcome the New Order.

The cast of characters are potentially colorful but are not completely developed. Examples of the more robust players include the evil “The One Who Is The One” that leads the New Order who has a foreboding and all knowing persona. And then there is Byron, a former schoolmate who is eventually turned into a weasel for witnessing the powers of the siblings and threatening to nark them out. There is also Whit’s dead girlfriend’s ghost, Celia, who helps them escape prison where they are made to run through a hallway lined with hell hounds for their supper. Finally! A diet that works!

The super short, 3 – 4 page chapters and constant switching between Wisty’s and Whit’s perspectives depicted blinky-type thoughts that never really amount to anything substantial. It was like watching a hyper 8 year old bounce around Santa’s workshop. The end result is a lack of depth that keeps the reader from creating a clear picture of the settings. This did, however, allow for an action-packed read with few lulls in the storyline.

So, while this was a suspenseful and vigorous tale, my mature hottie side was left completely ignored and I felt like I had whiplash from the rapid fire micro-chapters switching between thoughts at lightning speed. I also feel that the authors were writing to a strictly middle school aged audience. I would seriously doubt that our fantastically sexy fans could be intellectually (or otherwise, OWW) stimulated by this venture! 3 pumps outta 5, says The Vixen That Reviews!

The first sign of a good book is finding yourself literally breathless during the climaxes. The Maze Runner, by James Dashner, is definitely that kind of book. It’s wild, creative, totally crazy at times, and had me constantly solving puzzles. For the most part, I couldn’t read fast enough to get through the scenes; I was in a rush to find out what happens next. I should warn you that after reading The Maze Runner, you’ll find yourself in desperate need for the sequel…which isn’t scheduled to come out till October 2010. COME ON JAMES!!! WRITE FASTER!

The book begins when Thomas wakes up in an enclosed lift of sorts. He doesn’t know where he is, how he got there, or even what his last name is. When the lift stops and the door opens, he enters into a place referred to as the glade…and he’s not alone. Standing before him he sees about 40 other boys, from the ages of 8 to 18 just waiting for him. At first glance, the glade seems almost serene, set in a field with big trees and a farmhouse to boot. However, there are 4 humungous doors on either side of the glade that lead out to a giant maze. Every night, at the same time, the doors close on their own, locking the boys inside the glade and keeping the evils that roam the maze at night out! Though, Thomas has no memory of life before the glade, this place somehow feels familiar to him. He feels the need to explore the maze with the other ‘Runners’ (those who are charged with exploring the Maze), but finding a way out of this strange reality proves much more difficult then he ever dreamed!

I have to say, I was definitely surprised at how much I liked the author’s writing style. No offense to GUYS…it’s just that up until now, I hadn’t been very lucky in finding male authors that wrote with the kind of detail and organization that I like in a book. James Dashner did a great job keeping the story focused, and the descriptions vivid.

If there was one thing James could have done better, it would have been the character development. I realize the boys didn’t have memories to reflect on, but more could have been done to help the reader get to know the characters. Unfortunately, I didn’t develop a real attachment to any character in particular. This was a bummer for me, since my favorite aspect of reading is finding new ‘friends’. I know, I’m a huge dork!

Overall, The Maze Runner was an exciting book, and the ending was a total bombshell. The non-stop thriller aspect was a high point for me, and I can’t wait to see what James comes up with for the sequel. I give this book a 4 outta 5 pumps, taking one away for the disappointing character development.

Welcome to adolescence, boys and girls. Your hormones will go berserk, your body will change in ways you never thought possible and you will hate your parents. One silver lining in all of this is that these years are very short and will be forever cherished. For Connor, Risa, and Lev, being a teenager means something entirely different than what you and I experienced growing up. They are unwinds who are about to be chopped into little pieces and used for spare parts.

Unwind by Neal Shusterman takes place in a time not too distant from ours. The country experienced the Second Civil War called the “Heartland War”; this battle fought both sides of the Pro-Life and Pro-Choice argument. Many lives were lost as a result of this war, yet a consensus was reached in the form of the Bill of Life being added to the Constitution. This bill states that life begins at conception and is protected by law until the child reaches the age of thirteen. At that point, parents can send their teens to Harvest Camp where they technically remain alive, but are preserved in a divided state. Later, their body parts will be used to supplement other individuals who may need heart surgery, be an amputee, or just want a new pair of shiny blue eyes. The only problem is the original owner doesn’t completely disappear….

The main characters of Unwind are quite captivating and dynamic. Connor is the hot-headed, sexy, bad boy who runs away before his parents can have him taken to Harvest Camp to be destroyed. Risa is a ward of the state that is caught in a cross-fire of budget cuts, and unfortunately doesn’t have enough talent or skill worth salvaging. And then there’s innocent Lev, who just happened to be the 10th child in a very religious family who is unwinding him as a tithe to God. These three characters cross paths in a way I never would’ve predicted, and they form a bond that cannot be unwound.

Shusterman’s novel is extremely action packed and filled with possibilities that will completely shock readers. I was drawn into the plot within the first couple of pages and was challenged by some of the events that occurred throughout the story. Personally, I struggled quite a bit with the disposable attitudes and perspectives the adult characters offered. Yet, I found myself rooting for Connor, Risa, and Lev, and didn’t give up hope on a happy ending.

For being a young adult book, Unwind surprised me because it explored areas of our world that are rather adult-oriented. I appreciated this aspect immensely; however, some of the imagery became very emotionally overwhelming for me. I’m giving Unwind 3 ½ out of 5 pumps. I’m taking one away for the author’s choppy writing style that I had difficulty connecting with at times, and I’m taking a half of a pump away for the subject matter that will haunt me for many months, and maybe years, to come.

Who saw the trailer for Cirque du Freak: The Vampires Assistant during last summer’s COMIC-CON? I was so impressed with the cast list and the sneak-peeks that I just had to read the book to bide my time until the film was released. And I was not disappointed … too badly.

The Vampires Assistant by Darren Shan is the second book in this series so I supposed you should get a quick synopsis of the first book, right? In Cirque du Freak: The Saga of Darren Shan, Darren and his friend, Steve, visit a traveling freak show. Eventually, Darren finds himself in a position where he must sacrifice his mortality in order to save the life of his friend. To do this successfully, Darren must become a half vampire, fake his own death, and be buried alive. HEELLL NO! When he emerges he realizes the extent of what his life has become and how he must count on his guardian, Mr. Crepsley, a full-vampire, as his only companion and teacher for the remainder of his existence. He is totally devastated, and completely resents the older, wiser vamp for causing his “condition”.

In the The Vampires Assistant, Darren has a lot to learn about what he has become and how to live with it. Unfortunately, Mr. Crepsley is the only one able to teach him. After a short stint on the road and away from the Freak show, they realize that “home is where the heart is” and return. Darren finds that there really is a lot to learn and many myths to be disproved about his new status. One thing that he is having trouble complying with is drinking human blood. Death is not instantaneous if he refuses this imposition but it is eminent. Slow, but definitely eminent.

This short read is packed with a plethora of interesting characters who find themselves in many fascinating situations. It is a Freak Show, after all! There is a Bearded Lady, a Wolfman, a Snakeboy, and much, much, more. This new, strange world is old hat to the Freak Show residents and so becomes the norm for Darren as well. He finds a true friend in the Snakeboy, Evra Von and together they find themselves working as a team and escaping various thrilling adventures unscathed.

There are twelve books in the series and they are all labeled as being in the “young adult” genre. The same genre as Twilight so I thought I was safe. However, in my opinion, these books are meant for a much younger audience. I would say 10 to 13 yos would get the most enjoyment out of them. That being said, I can completely get behind the idea of making this book into a movie! The characters and their exploits promise to draw a huge audience. I’m giving the book 3 outta 5 pumps, taking two away for under-achieving its potential in the young adult genre; but still, I express my excitement for its potential on the big screen.

Halloween has always been my very favorite holiday ever since I can remember. Not the gory / monster part but the ghostly / cemetery part is how I explain it to people. There is just something about the possibilities of ghosts roaming the earth on that one special night that just gets my heart pumping and my imagination soaring. The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman gave me butterflies like Halloween was just around the corner. Please understand up front that this book targets an audience of 4th to 8th grade readers but carries great weight & depth; a story that anyone can enjoy. So there is absolutely no hanky-panky, people!

This novel opens with a pretty macabre event. A family is massacred off-screen and the killer searches for the sole remaining family member to complete his gruesome task. The toddler he seeks has wandered out of the house, up the hill, to an old graveyard and into the protective hands of its residents. The babe is given the name Nobody Owens (Bod for short) by his ghostly adoptive mother, Mistress Owens, and is granted the “Freedom of the Graveyard.” This status enables Bod to execute various tricks of the dead like fading and dream-walking. Just give me one day with those little tricks and Diabolical Piper would RULE THE WORLD BABY!

Bod experiences the pains and thrills of growing up through a string of otherworldly adventures. As a result, he discovers various life lessons through his interactions with a treasure-trove of descriptive and beloved characters from various historical periods. These characters include an impish witch, a melodramatic poet, a roman leader, and a shadowy nocturnal guardian (who I suspect to be a vampire but can’t be sure) just to name a few. Readers are first introduced to each ghost through their clever epitaphs engraved on their headstones. This will certainly get you thinking about what might be on your own headstone! Hmm… “Piper Grey – 19(blah-dee-blah) to 20(someday) – Rawkin the Afterlife in Pink Sequins!” Whadayathink??

The villains in this gothic fantasy are all a bit sketchy and vague. One version of the ‘bad guy’ is a coiling, 3 headed serpentine called The Sleer and is the oldest thing in the cemetery. Imprisoned in its tomb, it guards a small treasure and fruitlessly waits for a master to protect. We never get to the history of the creature, the treasure, or the missing master. Another type of villain belongs to an ancient order whose members names are puns off of the name “Jack” but not much else is explained about them.

Although this novel is dark at times, the overall message it delivers is one of self-discovery and overcoming fears of experiencing life. Neil Gaiman’s The Graveyard Book is a 5 pumper in this Vixen’s opinion. This coming of age story of Nobody Owens has the potential to become a classic…. and would create delight in graveyards everywhere if it were to make its way to the big screen. Here’s hoping!

Riveting; Jarring; Spellbinding; Exhilarating; Unpredictable; Emotionally charged. These are the words I would use to describe Catching Fire, the sequel to The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins. I can’t articulate enough how tremendously in love I am with this new series! However, I must warn you as I did with The Hunger Games, that this sequel STILL does not provide you with the closure you’re looking for! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! If you’re like me, and need resolution, then the ending of this book will have you screaming “COME ON!!! WHAT HAPPENS NEXT DAMMIT?!?!?!?” LOL Fortunately for us, the author MUST be planning a third book for this series, because there’s no way she could leave her fans hanging like this otherwise! HURRY UP SUZANNE!

Before I begin, I want to confess that I had my own theories about what this sequel could possibly be about… and all of them were wrong! I want everyone to benefit from the same feeling of surprise and shock that I got while reading this. Therefore, I’m going to limit any in-depth discussion of the plot. With that said, I will tell you a few things about this book that I loved best, without spoiling anything for you.

Catching Fire doesn’t exactly start out where The Hunger Games left off, but that aspect shouldn’t bother you too much. It takes place a few months after the Games, and after that long train ride back to District 12 where our lovable Peeta confessed his true love for Katniss. This story brings you into their post-Game lives as Victors of District 12; which, as you may have suspected, is not the carefree, easy-living that the Capitol proclaims it to be. Since the Games, a secret resistance against the Capitol has been forming. Intending to squash this new opposition, the Capitol uses the upcoming ‘Quarter Quell’ (the 75 year anniversary of the revolution against the Capitol) to instill fear back into its citizens. With so much at stake, Katniss and Peeta are forced into a variety of life or death situations…all of which will have you gasping for air!

The author’s writing style is seamless, almost as if she never really stopped writing this story, but just divided it into sections and called each one a book. You will feel yourself easily glide right back into the first-person dialect as The Hunger Games, without any awkward adjustments. The writer’s speed and trajectory of the plot is what contributes to the overall excitement and thrill of the story. You will be captured by the first chapter!

Like The Hunger Games, my favorite aspect of this book was its merciless unpredictability. You really never knew what was coming next! There are so many twists and turns and just when you think you’ve got it all figured out…BAM…you’re thrown for another loop! I give Catching Fire 5 outta 5 pumps for its ingenious topsy-turvy plot, incredible character dynamics, and amazingly enticing action scenes!!! I LOVED THIS BOOK!

DING DING DING! Can I have your attention please?! The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins is hands down, one of the best books I’ve ever read! This young adult story is surprisingly enticing and full of suspense! It will leave you breathlessly anticipating what’s next throughout the entire book. It is only fair to warn you though – if your looking for a story with closure, you won’t find it until October! Hunger Games is the first book in a series and book two will not be out until October 2009. SO LET THE COUNTDOWN BEGIN!!

The story takes place in a post apocalyptic world, where the Capitol city “Panem” maintains political control over 12 worldwide Districts. However, this is not the story of a glorious new nation that cares for its people. On the contrary, the rich State of Panem leaves most of its districts in poverty, and forces them to obey extreme laws punishable by death. This uncaring and cold regiment (which significantly resembles that of a communist society) has also demanded that two “tributes” from each District, between the ages of 12 to 18, be used as gladiators in a televised fight to the death where only one can survive. The winning tribute receives a years worth of rations for their District, and a life of ease for themselves and their family. It’s like the ultimate reality T.V. show, infused with lots of shock and awe!

While reading this story, I completely fell in love with the two main characters. Katniss (yes, ridiculous name I agree), is the perfect role model for any teenager. She’s a strong, caring 16 year old girl with an incredible knack for survival due to a life of hard living! The heavy responsibility of feeding and protecting her family in a very poor district fell on her shoulders after her father’s death. Peeta is a sweet, witty and funny young man who easily steals your heart with his charm! Though just an acquaintance to Katniss, Peeta eventually comes to mean more to her than she ever expected. The chemistry between these two characters is addicting, and really forces the reader to experience a range of emotions! I laughed, I cried…I felt like a teenager again!

My favorite aspect of this book was its unpredictability. Just when I thought I knew what was coming, something completely unexpected happened instead. Suzanne Collins did an excellent job of keeping the reader guessing; flawlessly arranging the hints and clues to keep the reader engaged in the story. I gave this book 5 outta 5 pumps for its creativity, enticing action scenes, and encompassing love story!

Wow, I’m still dizzy and reeling from the extremely exciting roller coaster ride also known as The Host, A Novel by Stephenie Meyer. Her first attempt at a made for adults tale follows a very different story line than her super successful Twilight Saga; though it holds a similar romantic draw. This science fiction-slash-thriller-slash-romance tale is about the last cell of wild humans surviving on an Earth that has been taken over by parasitic but peaceful and dispassionate alien “Souls.” They are surgically implanted into their human host bodies, completely erasing the original owners from existence. Or at least that’s the plan.

Melanie Stryder is one tough cookie in that she’s not going to award her invader, Wanderer, a peaceful takeover. My kind of girl! Melanie is the epitome of why the human species is the dominating force on this planet and she fulfills that role through her vengeful hatred of the beings that have overthrown the human species. But as this beautifully crafted story comes to pass, her fight evolves from pure hatred into an inner struggle to not accept Wanderer’s presence. Eventually she realizes she really doesn’t have a choice and with every little bit of acceptance, the barriers of hatred start to crumble. Mel begins developing sister-like feelings for her. Could she be growing compassionate for the enemy? Is she a traitor to her human family?

If you’ve read the Twilight Saga and are going through serious withdrawals from Edward Cullen, then you will definitely want to meet Jared. The hot and rugged human survivalist who is devastated at the loss of Melanie, his one true love. He is conflicted with the love he still feels for the body of his former mate but is painfully aware that he is no longer able to trust her. Mr. Jared is raw and full of hatred at first which definitely leads us to consider his potential for the most harsh, even rough, love scenes therein. But, as is with Stephenie Meyers, those love scenes never come completely full circle. I just took it as an opportunity to exercise my imagination skills and find the optimal version of my very own satisfying conclusion to these teasers.

This blend of science fiction and “pull at your heart-strings” tragic romance will draw some serious emotions out of you. Emotions like love, lust, fear, despair and utter devastation with a smidge of hope and optimism thrown in for good measure. Make sure you have ample Kleenex and eye drops available before you get into the last 150 pages where true love and self sacrifice are the theme. I swear my eyes are still swollen. I was going to give this novel 5 pumps but I’m inclined to take one away for the blatant contradiction of the story’s moral during the last 30 pages. However I’m inclined to forgive half a pump after polishing off the last three. End score: 4.5 outta 5 pumps – definitely a page turner!

The Sookie Stackhouse Series, by Charlaine Harris is an absolute MUST READ for vampire lovers everywhere!!  BE WARNED though—The vampires in this exciting series are not like the swanky, glamorous, vegetarians that you find in Twilight.

The Sookie series takes place in the fictional town of Bon Temps, Louisiana; a backwoods, redneck location.  At first I was taken back by this setting, allowing my bias for the usual sexy, urbane vampires take over.  However, once I got to know the delightfully-tacky people of Bon Temps, I completely fell in love!  Their tendency to resemble what most people would call “typical trailer trash” surprisingly became the heart of my enjoyment.  The setting truly adds to the unique charm and continuous comedy in the series.

The readers enter on a BANG, starting with a news broadcast of a scientific breakthrough among the medical community.  You go on to learn that the Japanese have invented a synthetic blood substitute, TruBlood, in hopes of alleviating the demand for human blood donors in hospitals.   Of course, the secret race of vampires see this is as opportunity for them to ‘come out of the closet’ and announce to the public that they are real!  They go on to claim that this new invention of TruBlood will enable them to live among society with humans, on account of they won’t have to kill anymore to survive.

The nine books continue to revolve around the adventures of a barmaid named Sookie, who is anything but your average girl.  Sookie has the gift of telepathy, though she refers to it as her disability.  Relationships are not easy for Sookie, as she is always aware of what everyone is thinking.  But something happens the day she meets her first vampire; Sookie discovers that her disability doesn’t pertain to this recently “outted” race, and with that she finds the peace of mind she’s been longing for.  As her relationships grow with the second-natured so does her status among them.  This humorously presents just as many challenges as benefits.  Sookie’s uncanny ability to attract danger at every turn helps form the series overarching plot which will keep you constantly entertained.

Vampires are not the only fictional characters introduced in this series; each book holds new surprises and enticing drama to boot.  The character development is flawless, allowing the reader to really appreciate each individual’s circumstances.  Charlaine Harris has an incredible knack for using humor during moments that would seem too intense to most authors.  Using heavy sarcasm, she is able to maintain a light hearted feel even during the darkest hours.

In reading these books, you get to experience Sookie’s many exciting escapades in which love is formed and lives are always at stake!  It’s definitely my favorite adult vampire series thus far!  I give this series 5 outta 5 pumps for being full of imagination and unique flavor.

Did you love reading The Wonderful Wizard of Oz? Did it give you a warm fuzzy when Dorothy got to go back home to Kansas; a better person for her experiences and the characters she met in Oz? If your partial to cute little munchkins and fairies, then Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire will utterly creep you out, but in a good way! If you’re like me, and crave a bit of the ‘unusual’ from time to time, then you’ll enjoy it immensely. This book describes the trials of Elphaba’s (The Wicked Witch of the West’s) life, and how those trials morphed her into such a bad egg. It also entices the reader to ask the question, “Was she really that bad or simply misunderstood?” I know, deep, right? I had no idea the answer to that very question could be so bizarre and intriguing.

This prequel to the Oz series encompasses steamy adultery, favoritism, political and economic unrest, racism, parental abuse, terrorism, gruesome murder and yes, true love for the wicked Elphaba. This very adult story-line takes place in a world made up of whimsical characters like talking animals, trolls, dwarfs, munchkinlanders (some of which are extremely promiscuous, yes promiscuous munchkins – kinda creepy, huh?), and even humans. I liked the authors use of descriptive writing; it made this world and its characters materialize so easily in my mind. I even enjoyed the shock-factor and would catch my flabbergasted expression in the mirror as I read about a particularly awful murder or bestiality scene.

This was certainly a surprisingly enjoyable read that has me empathizing with what L. Frank Baum portrayed as the epitome of evil. In this book, she has a name instead of a title and she takes on the role of heroine. I felt compassion for Elphaba because of her inability to control the worlds reaction to the physical traits she had been dealt in life. It added fuel to my own belief that environment certainly has an imprint on how your life turns out! Not all inner complexities are responsible for that or natural tendencies. I mean, come on, she was born with green skin and shark teeth! Not easy to hide THOSE anomalies.

I think that if you are open minded with a cynical twist, you’ll really enjoy this book. It’s received glowing reviews by literary genius’ who love to dissect great works as well as odd girls who are interested in tall tales that don’t leave them feeling ‘warm’ in anyway. There are no surprise endings here because we all know what happened to poor Elphaba when Dorothy showed up. Leave it to those girl-next-door types to give the smart, sexy women a bad rap. I give it 4 outta 5 Pumps, taking one for the lack of sexy vampires, of course!